Affirmation

"I strive to move forward and will not be weighed down by the past."

I just heard this spoken by a girl who was badly abused when she was young.

On the Oprah show today.

The images in this post are from NYC-based artist Amy Chien. I found her in Design Boom. I wish I was young and adorable.

Dating betrayals

 

My heart is pounding mad. I am mad. OMG I could scream. My BF is so dense. Or maybe I am in denial - he is not dense he just DOES NOT CARE ABOUT ME.

Damn him! We've been together nearly a year and a half. 

So he SNORES like a combination between a fog horn and a dull siren. He has made NO effort to mitigate it. Although early in the relationship he did ask me whether he should look into doing something about it but then I politely deferred and said that I would try to get better earplugs.

Now he KNOWS it still a BIG problem but does nothing. He thinks I should just sleep in the room in the BASEMENT. He said since we should be asleep (unconscious) what difference does it make anyways? Well it makes a HUGE difference to me. I have told him that numerous times. For me, it is a bonding experience sleeping in the same bed, or at least same room. I do not want to sleep in that horrible room in the basement.  Why doesn't he go sleep there????

What a selfish man!  

No, it was not always like this.  In the beginning he was so considerate and generous. Now that has all changed. We barely go out - in January we went out ONCE for dinner and a movie and I paid for the dinner. He keeps saying he has to cut down on his spending but he isin't spending anything. This just means he wants to save more. I feel like he mis-represented himself in the beginning by being generous and considerate when he really isin't at all. 

I am seething with hurt and betrayal.

 

The photos in this post are from an etsy artist - "behappynow" - from tel aviv. I find her portraits charming and innocent.

In the fashion illustration zone

I am taking a fashion illustration class now and must say that I am loving it. At first I was afraid it would be too straight-laced for me, which yes it is formulaic and such but it helps me practice my line work and still leaves enough room for me to vent my creativity.

My fashion illustration teacher mentioned this lady in class tonight.  Her name is Garance Dore.  My teach said Dore is an amazing fashion illustrator AND very successful fashion blogger in France.  Today there is an article about her in the NY times and her romantic relationship w/ the Sartorialist another uber successful fashion blogger.

OMG, Dore must have such a charmed life!  Though I'm not sure that I think her illustrations are super great.  They do have a wonderful line and some special quality but I think I've seen other fashion illustrators whose work I like more.  Anyways I am featuring her work today.

Victoria Beckham

Grrrrr... relationships!

Damn!  Why are relationships so hard???  It was so good a year ago. Now a year later and I feel so much hurt and hate it's paralyzing. Should I quit now? Is this a relationship worth salvageing? How much is my fault?

Too bad there isin't some "solution guide" we can go to which would outline all the places each of us went wrong. How are we supposed to learn? Some people would say "trust yourself", "listen to your heart", or some other such intuitive approach, but I don't know how to do that! I don't understand my inner self, my inner self does not speak (is mute), or whatever...

(Erin O'Keefe makes there wonderful memory boxes where she pastes images of rooms from her past in small wooden boxes.  Then she arranges them artfully in these wonderful structures. She says in her artist statement that she intends them to allow for "new meanings and associations." Maybe I need to try an exercise like this?)

It's a confusation night

This Christian Lacroix illustration (above) from the NY times caught my eye a few days ago. It zings! Does Lacroix do his own illustrations?

It's 6:27am and another insomniac night. I'm frustrated with a class assignment and feeling blue about a relationship. What better to do than start a new blog?

I'm also listening to my Broadway Love CD. Nothing moves my heart the way a good Broadway love song does. I'd be embarrassed to admit this in a non-anonymous blog!